Guys, It's Time To Start Apologizing

As a white Christian man, the last few years have been a bit of a wake-up call. There’s been a reckoning for guys who look like me. Previously well-respected leaders have been publicly exposed for the liars, bullies, and misogynists they’ve been behind closed doors. So many wrongs are coming to light, and that is good. But this time has also been a period of reflection for men like me. Men who want to love and lead their families well. Men who work with and serve some pretty incredible women, and men who don’t want to be part of the problem.

So I think I figured something out recently. To move forward, sometimes you have to start by looking back. And for many guys, including me, it means saying "I’m sorry."

Guys, it’s time to start apologizing.

It’s time to apologize to the women in our lives. To fellow sisters, to our wives, and to our daughters. “I’m sorry for being THAT guy.”

I’m sorry for cutting you off before listening to everything you wanted to tell me.
I’m sorry for making that face when you were just trying to be honest and helpful.
I’m sorry for demanding my way instead of working on a solution together.
I am sorry.

Guys, it’s time to ask for her forgiveness. It’s time for us to go second and to tell the woman in your life that she is not less than you. She is strong, brave, beautiful, and worthy. And she needs to hear you say, “I am for you! I am cheering you on. Your strength does not make me weak. Your empowerment does not disempower me. Your voice is welcome and must be heard."

It’s no accident that the most important message of all time was entrusted to two women. And it’s no surprise that the guys in their lives did not believe them. When the tomb was discovered empty, it was the women who understood the gravity of what they discovered. The guys were the ones who were slow on the uptake. From the road to Emmaus to Thomas’ doubts, sometimes guys get it wrong. I know I get it wrong all of the time. And for that I am sorry.

Sister, you matter.
Your voice counts.
Your intuition is insightful.
Your wisdom is welcome.
Your presence is powerful.
I need you in my life to be a better man, but even more,
I need you in my life to help me see what I don’t.
Sister, sit with me.
Tell me what you see.
Forgive my blindness.
I want to become the kind of man who treats you with the dignity you deserve.

And for the times I haven’t, I’m sorry.

Check out this video series I created just for men here.